Sunday, 9 June 2013

The title of Brian Colemans autobiography?

Word reaches the Barnet Eye that rumours are being circulated regarding the forthcoming autobiography of Brian Coleman. Sources close to Mr Coleman (he personally only sends me abusive emails) are suggesting that the working title is a rip off of a famous piece of art by Tracy Emin. They have suggested that it will be called "Everyone I've ever slept with". Whether or not this is a wind up by Mr Coleman to put the wind up certain former friends, we can only speculate. He does seem to be delighting in upsetting his former buddies at the moment. Given that his own prose is turgidity in extremis, one may suggest that it would be the only way to shift a few copies. Mr Coleman received extensive press coverage when it was reported that he'd slept with an Arsenal FC striker. It seems to me that there is an endless market for tittle tattle, so if that list has a few people on it of note, perhaps he will get a bit of notoriety and flog a few copies. Given that he has previously questioned his own employability, I suppose we shouldn't begrudge him a living. After all he's spent the last decade or so as a high profile politician for a party which detests scroungers. It would be most unbecoming for him to fall into such a lifestyle.

Of course it is quite likely that this rumour is purely a little bit of merry making by his friends. Having read his blog avidly, I don't think he'll shift too many copies with revelations such as this one about his former mentor Lady Thatcher
When Prime Minister she gave the best part of a Friday or Saturday about  every three weeks to local matters and events, she missed the Finchley Carnival only once and that was for the World Economic Summit at Versailles, there was virtually no local organisation she was not part of as President or Patron and she never attended any event without ensuring she had spoken to everybody in the room and nipped into the kitchen to lend a hand with the washing up as well  . "You can never have enough tea towels " I once heard her remark at a Finchley Conservative Bazaar , somehow I cannot image David Cameron making that remark with total naturalness.
For a former QE boys pupil, Mr Coleman is remarkably averse to using punctuation. I would suggest that his ghost writer will have a job on his hands. When Mr Coleman finally does release his book, I suggest he gets in touch. I have a friend who runs the countries largest company for pulping unsold books.

The Barnet Eye urgently emailed Councillor Coleman for clarification, but thus far have received no reply.


valblog said...

"Confessions of a Horrible Little Man" ?

Morris Hickey said...

"My Life in a Taxi"?