Saturday 18 December 2010

Brian Coleman : The saviour of the London Borough of Barnet

Just remember, you read it here first. In the Barnet Eye on December 18th, 2010.

Next year is going to probably be the toughest year ever in Barnet Council. Whatever happens, there will be mass redundancies. Many public services will be closed down, many vulnerable people will be left high and dry. Whilst all of this goes on, many leading Tory councillors will be trowsering huge amounts of allowances, far in excess of any other year. As libraries shut, sheltered housing wardens are sacked, childrens centres closed and care workers for the elderly and vulnerable are made redundant, huge contracts will be doled out to multi national companies as part of the Future Shape/One Barnet program.

If you think that there has been unrest, in the words of the old song "You ain't seen nothing yet". I was talking to Barnet Unison secretary John Burgess on Tuesday night. John is a highly intelligent guy. he was explaining to me that the workforce at Barnet Council have been extremely reluctant in the past to take industrial action. This is all changing. When people realise that their jobs are on the line and there aren't other jobs out there, people suddenly realise it is in their self interest to defend their rights. Barnet Council has made the fatal mistake of thinking that because the staff have traditionally been quite passive, they can kick the crap out of them and they won't fight back. When staff received redundany notices, the penny dropped.

At more or less exactly the same time, Lynn Hillan, Conservative leader of Barnet Council stated "We are all in this together". Given that she's given many of her councillors who chair committees a huge increase in allowance (only scrapping her own rise because of a huge campaign), she couldn't have told a bigger whopper if she'd tried. Hillan only just survived an attempt to overthrow her by Mark Shooter, who had only been in the council for five minutes. You may have thought that Lynne Hillan might have learned and would get her nose to the grindstone. This time last year, Barnet was paralysed by bad weather. Salt stocks ran out and both Hillan and her deputy Harper, were on holiday. This year, as once again bad weather hits, where is Hillan? I got this when I emailed her :-

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, December 17, 2010 6:38 PM
Subject: Out of Office AutoReply: Extremely Urgent : Library consultation

I am currently on leave until 5 January 2011 .   Please contact the Deputy Leader, Cllr Andrew Harper for anything urgent, em: cllr.a.harper@barnet.gov.uk.  For Brunswick Park Ward issues, please contact my colleagues, either Cllr Andreas Tambourides on 0208 368 5417 or Cllr Lisa Rutter on 07956 858913.  Otherwise I will deal with your message when I return.
--------------------------------------------------------------

She learns nothing. At the one time when it was crystal clear that the Council would need firm leadership and action, she's on holiday. Fortunately Andrew Harper seems to have learned the lesson. In Scotland, a crisis centre has been set up, where rail, road, police, fire and all other emergency services can be co-ordinated from. The top politicians are there day and night to ensure that the situation is addressed. In North London Business park, all we have is an empty desk from Hillan.

So what has this all got to do with Councillor Brian Coleman. As regular readers will know, this blog can, with some justification, claim to be his biggest critic. As far as I know, I'm the only person in Barnet to successfully hold old porkychops to account. As such I was rather surprised to be contacted by a Barnet Councillor, asking me whether I would support a Coleman candidacy for Leadership in May.

My initial reactions was "He's the last person in the world I'd choose. It would be like putting Dracula in charge of a bloodbank". My esteemed Councillor friend then walked me through the likely candidates

Lynne Hillan - Completely Useless and totally discredited.

Andrew Harper - Hillans deputy.  A firm believer in all of Hillans policies, such as future shape, library cuts, scrapping wardens, in short the status quo candidate

Daniel Thomas - A right wing uber-Thatcherite, who believes that Future Shape doesn't go far enough. Thomas is believed to want to pass a whole host of unworkable bylaws and rules to make Barnet an even more unpleasant place to work, study or live. He is an avid reader of bonkers policy documents from obscure right wing think tanks (manned by people like Robert Rams) who devise all sorts of crazy policies, yet have never had a real job or run a real company.

Which brings us to Brian Coleman. What does porkychops have to offer, which the rest of them don't. Well firstly we can be pretty sure that he'll double the Leaders allowance to £70,000 per year (because he's worth it). Unlike Hillan he won't crack when the press start whining. The next thing he'll do is cancel Future Shape and sack all of the consultants. Brian Coleman knows it's a complete pile of crap. He knows the figures don't add up. He knows that by sacking the consultants, he can save £5 million this year. With this he can save the libraries, wardens and a host of other services. Brian is a populist. he knows that if he says "I've sacked all these useless consiltants who write waste of space reports and i've saved the libraries, wardens and childrens centres with the money", people will think he's doing a great job. They will be prepared to look the other way as he hikes up his salary. Once he's sacked all of the consultants, he's going to set about the tiers of middle managers in Barnet Council. Coleman is said to believe that a blank cut of 50% of middle managers would have no effect on front line services and would reap huge savings. Again, he will plough this back into tax cuts and mainating front line services.

Despite our perception of Coleman as a greedy trougher, with no regard for his fellow man, Coleman is a lover of things like Hendon Town Hall, Civic flowerbeds, libraries and museums. I hear he's horrified at plans to cut Church Farm Museum. Coleman has a soft spot for the museum, following an exhibition about gays in Barnet a few years back. Brian believes that he is morally obligated to save the museum for staging this.

The big difference between Coleman and the other three, is that he doesn't care who he upsets. If he believes he's right (which he always does 100%) he's prepared to move Hell and High water to get what he wants. Coleman believes that if the Tories don't sort themselves out, they will lose Barnet in 3 1/2 years and he knows that he's likely to lose his GLA seat to Andrew Dismore in 2012. Unlike the rest of them, he doesn't want to retire from Politics at the next council election.

Brian Colemans biggest fantasy is a blue plaque on Hendon Town Hall saying "Brian Coleman, the Man who saved Barnet Council". Sadly for Coleman, all of this is a pipedream. In reality, most of his colleagues hate his guts and wouldn't elect him unless a gun was put to their heads. The only footnote he'll get in the anals of Barnet history is "Brian Coleman : The only mayor to be found guilty of breaching the standards code". Whilst in some ways I may agree with many of his plans to save the council, the truth is that the man is a complete arse and everyone knows it. That is why Harper will take over in May.

9 comments:

Broadway Blogger said...

Brian the Saviour.

There used to be a fantastic band called FAT AND FRANTIC ( much loved by Simon Mayo on the Radio 1 brekkie show )

They had a fantastic song called BRIAN.....not sure whether it is available on You Tube etc anymore.

Could become a festive hit if Brian really is our Saviour.

Mrs Angry said...

Only someone who is utterly and irredeemably stupid would believe that the Futureshape/One Barnet 'model' has any credibility. Admittedly, the Barnet Tories are almost entirely utterly and irredeemably stupid, or at best, deeply cynical. Coleman, however, for all his (many, many) flaws is not one of the stupid ones. He is not an idealist: he is a pragmatist and acts according to his own assessment of the situation. Andrew Harper is now deeply committeed to the One Barnet nonsense and will stick with it: he does however seem to dislike all the public opprobium which goes with such a course, hence his desire to appear more reasonable and resident friendly. I'm afraid I don't buy it and would respect him more if he stopped toeing the line and took action to avert the disaster we are all hurtling towards, courtesy of this lunatic administration's obsession with the One Barnet farce.

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Rog

I have to say that if a council leader was willing to cut out all the consultants and plough the money into supporting front line services and reducing council tax then they would be entitled to an increase in their allowances because they would have earned it. It is a basic Conservative principle to reward success. If the council can provide more for less, then we are all winners. Of course, the problem in Barnet is that we are getting the opposite - less for more.

I don’t like to see anyone losing their jobs but the reality is that at all levels of government, local and national, there are far too many managers doing very little that is productive and they should be removed from the public payroll, ensuring that there are sufficient resources to pay for wardens, education and the things which are actually of benefit to residents and society.

Rog T said...

David,

People are currently getting paid for not doing the job at all. I object to that wholeheartedly.

I don't think Coleman would do a good job, but I suppose you could make the case that at least he'd do something for the money.

The big problem is all of the people getting paid to do nothing

Rog T said...

It is a measure of just how incompetent Hillan is that even Mrs Angry didn't start foaming at the mouth at the prospect of Coleman. She hates his guts, but realises that he'd be an improvement on Hillan for the sake of the wider Barnet population. Quite bizarre.

Although you can never predict the response to any blog, I really hadn't realised just how little barrel scrapings are left of Barnet Tories credibility after a year of Hillan. I've even had texts from trades Unionists who think Coleman would be better !

Don't Call Me Dave said...

I have often said that politically Brian Coleman is instinctively a Tory. The problem with him is the arrogance, hubris and his deluded sense of self importance. If he would just cut out all the crap, he would be an acceptable politician.

Mrs Angry said...

Oy!I demand the right of reply. Excuse me while I wipe the spittle from my lips: I most certainly do NOT think Coleman would be better than Hillan, he would be even worse, obviously, but in a different way. Pay attention, Tichborne.
DCMD: what is wrong with you: too much Christmas sherry? Cabin fever?
"If he would just cut out all the crap, he would be an acceptable politician"? It's the crap which provides the entertainment, and without which he would just be yet another clockwork Tory.

Anonymous said...

DCMD's latest honeymoon period seems to have expired!

Moaneybat said...

The voters have certainly paid for Hillan's winter break until January.

Coleman being a politician like all politicians, are full of crap some smell less than other crap amongst them. A Conservative rewarding success. Try Barnet's Conservatives in the Town Hall.