Monday 22 November 2010

Barnet Councils very own Hyacynth Bucket - Step forward Brian Coleman !

As ever, the genesis of this particular blog started with someone telling me something uttered by a Senior Barnet Tory. As ever, a little digging shows that in actual fact there is a bigger truth seeking to be exposed.

This particular blog is the result of something I was told a couple of months ago, which has been causing me to emit the odd random snigger in the most inappropriate of places. The particular indescretion was repeated, third hand to me. Apparently, Barnet Councils deputy Leader, Andrew Harper was having a few drinks with a few other Tories from other parts of London (where and why I don't know, but it seems a social gathering ensued and some libation may have been taken).

Anyway, one of the assembled Tories happened to comment to our esteemed Deputy Leader that his colleague, Councillor Brian Coleman, could at times (how can we put this politely), affect certain aires and graces. Now Councillor Harper is certainly one Councillor who doesn't put on anything. Whatever you think of him, he's a pretty down to earth sort of guy. If he wasn't Deputy Leader of Barnet Council, I could quite imagine whiling away an evening in the pub, discussing Englands prospects for the Ashes (something which I doubt Brian Coleman has ever wasted a second thinking about). Anyway, it appears that Councillor Harper, tongue possibly loosened by the relaxed company and a sherbet or two, quipped "Yes he can come over as a bit Hyacynth Bucket at times".Now this legendary quote made it's way back to the offices of the Barnet Eye.

Whilst it caused me much myrth in the pub when it was relayed, I hadn't thought about writing a blog about it until now. I have however realised that Councillor Harper was closer to the mark than he realised. You see the reason Hyacynth Bucket is so funny isn't because she's posh, but because she isn't. She just pretends to be. Now our Brian is known for his love of bling, flaunting his wealth and status. He enjoys the finer things in life, such as £350 Harvey Nicks Hampers (courtesy of Assettco, whom the Fire Authority he chairs have awarded multi million pound contracts to). He loves a spot of nice dinner, especially when he's being treated.

But what makes the whole thing funny is that fact that Brian Coleman isn't really posh. He isn't rich, in fact he's virtually destitute. He is so poor that is it wasn't for all of his friends treating him, he'd probably never go on holiday at all. Brian Coleman is so poor that he has to live in a flat owned by the Methodist Church (a charitable organisation). The flat has a controlled rent and I think it's great that the Methodist Church is able to support a penniless councillor, who barely scrapes together a living, allowing him to lead a lifestyle which would normally be way beyond his means. I mean how can any single bachelor survive without some help from a charity on a mere £114,000 per annum?

No wonder he "Comes over a bit Hyacynth Bucket". The poor dear is probably terrified that all of his rich Tory mates, so impressed by his bling will find out that he's not really all he seems.  I mean, lets face it, the Tory party are always banging on about spongers. How embarrassing would it be for poor old Hyacynth Brian to be exposed as one himself.

I wonder if keeping up appearances is on any of the satellite channels? I wonder who the "Onslow" in the Coleman family is? I've always wondered where our Brian picked up his rather affected accent? I mean, I used to go to school only a couple of miles down the road from him. I even did a "Building Studies" O level at the curriculum centre in Byng road, next door to Colemans old school QE boys. Now I realise, he got it from old Hyacynth Bucket repeats.

By the way, Hat Tip to David Hencke for the copy of Colemans rent details


http://davidhencke.wordpress.com/2010/11/15/armchair-audit-brian-coleman-britains-highest-paid-councillor/

1 comment:

Mrs Angry said...

Poor old Brian: I do hope the government's new housing rules, you know, where anyone earning above the minimum wage is going to be ruthlessly chucked out of their council home, won't apply to people in charity owned housing too ... that would be so unkind, wouldn't it? He might have to go and live in a shed, or pitch a tent on Hadley Common, like some of our other distressed gentlefolk Tory councillors.