Tuesday 1 June 2010

The War on BORK - Have you been Borked by a Borker?

I've sort of invented a new meaning for a new word. In fact I've invented two new meanings for two new words. As I sit here filling in endless pointless forms,  I was looking for a word to describe the process of filling in useless paperwork and my google searches delivered me to this site :-

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=borker

In the description of the uses of Borker it gave the folling example of being Borked by a Bork.

The bork insisted that I come to the office to fill out 20 pages of useless paperwork.

Now Borker is a bastardisation (or a misspelling) of Broker according to the Urban dictionary. I however from hereon in deem that a Borker is also someone who makes you perform useless and time consuming tasks, which exist only to make work for other Borkers. To have to fill in such rubbish is to be Borked. The person who forces you into Borking can be called a Borker. The whole genre of useless paperwork is to be known as Bork and doing it is to be known as Borking.

Now not only have I redefined the word Bork, this blog is today officially launching a war on Borking (or performing useless tasks). I humbly ask Nick Walkley - CEO of Barnet Council, Lynne Hillan - Leader of Barnet Council, David Cameron, Nick Clegg and anyone else who is in any position of responsibility in any organisation anywhere in the world to join this crusade.

I urge Everyone, everywhere to write on the bottom of all useless paperwork "This is BORK".

Most new words and phrases dreamed up by the PC brigade are long and complicated. This blog, being run by a dyslexic thicko is going the other direction. All the new words we will use will be short, funny and sound slightly rude. Having said that, if we ended BORK, we'd save millions of trees, completely get rid of the fiscal deficit and have far more time at work to do useful tasks, such as real work, planning our next trip to the pub or daydreaming about being crushed to death between Uma Thurmans thighs.

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