Saturday 3 January 2009

Brian Coleman - the Vampire who loves Garlic

Some extracts from Brian Coleman's latest column.

The credit crunch, rising unemployment and increasing economic gloom have meant uncertainty and worry for many families...

'So this Christmas my advice is to close the front door, turn the heating up and forget the outside world, and celebrate Christmas with family and friends and count your blessings.

'Sadly while we may be in the middle of a bleak midwinter, next year looks bleaker still. As for new year's resolution for both the country and individuals - it should be to reduce debt and live within our means.

'This time of year is a great period for refreshing one's batteries in the long break, so I suggest we all put our feet up, watch our favourite DVDs and worry about our problems in the new year.


Good advice for anyone who earns £85,000 a year for a few part time jobs. What about those staff of Woolworths who have just lost their jobs? Those heating bills have to be paid, the DVD's had to be bought. The staff of Woolies in Mill Hill didn't get too much time to put their feet up did they. In the mad rush to sell the stores, they had to work nearly every day. They didn't have much choice as it may well be the last paycheque they get for a while.

Mind you Brian can sit back having had a rather good year. His chum Boris won the mayoral election and appointed him to be the boss of the London Fire authority. A nice juicy part time job netting him over £25,000 a year (how many woolies employees got that much for a full time job standing on their feet all day). Brian's major coup for the year. He advised women that if they thought their gas boiler may be about to blow up, they shouldn't call the fire brigade. Just to emphasise the message he suggested that maybe they should be charged a £250 callout fee.

Coleman seems to me to be a rather modern day take on the mythical vampire. Rather than blood, he seems addicted to cash and hospitality. A quick visit to the GLA website of members interests revealed that he has received far more hospitality than any other member. Many free dinners at charity fundraising events particularly caught my eye. From the list of venues, it is clear that he's not afraid of a bit of Garlic though. His column's in the press (especially the one about the Lord Mayors Banquet) show that he's also rather keen on quaffing vast quantities of a certain red liquid, usually provided free of charge - no not blood, but fine red wine.

Vampires are noted for their hypnotic power. The ability to bend people to their will. I've seen Coleman in action. He reminds me of governor Pontius Pilate in Monty Python's life of Brian (or as pronounced by Coleman Bwian). I've seen no evidence of any reason why this man is one of the highest paid councillors in London, with so many allowances. Maybe I'm just immune to his charms and blind to his talents. On a few occasions on my Times blog and in comments I've asked his supporters to detail his achievements. One person said he'd helped with her windows and that he was a nice man.

As it's new year, I've made a resolution. I am never ever going to publicly criticise Brian Coleman again. I will implement this policy as soon as he apologises for his outrageous comments, stops bludging free dinners, starts standing up for the ordinary people in Barnet and starts showing he's worth his £85,000 a year. Denouncing future shape would be a good first step.

Happy new year Brain, from everyone at the Barnet Eye

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

That quote from the column needs a cartoon!

Julie said...

Rog, I thought a bit of reality should be cast over this tyically bias and twisted article of yours!

I put it to you that elected officials are invited to many dinners/lunches/buffets and other functions etc by all sorts of organisations - I don't see anything wrong with them accepting these invitations. These events are mostly in the evening meaning that while they are receiving a free meal they are doing so in what is their own personal time - yet still with their public office hat on talking mainly 'shop'.

If Coleman has more listed on his register of interests than other AMs this could also suggest that he is more transparent in registering these events (many MPs/Councillors don't if they deem the hospitality to be worth less than a certain amount) and/or he attends more of what he is invited to than others - thereby showing support to more organisations than others.

I would imagine that these functions normally are a 'show case' for the respective organisations work/cause (no such thing as a free lunch!) and so our public officals are learning more about the organisations concerned - not a bad thing. Just a different point of view.....

As for the staff at Woolworths, of course recent weeks have been terrible for them and I hope they all find other work soon. This goes to show that even companies that once seemed like a permanent high street presence aren't immune and that it's employees should make plans to protect themselves should the worst happen.

I note you excluded the fact that Brian was re-elected this year from why he has had a good year - but doing so would expose him for having a mandate from the people of Barnet and they might actually like him - which wouldn't be useful to you would it!? Ha!

The comments about how much money he earns etc are to be expected from a socialist and relating it to the Woolworths employees is a typical socialist worker's tactic. If Woolies staff or anyone else for that matter want to earn more they do have options....upgrade skills, change jobs, become politicians!!! hehe!

Rog T said...

"Julie",

Just as well we've got you here to offset any bias ! Unlike certain other more expensive (to the Taxpayer) blogs, we love a bit of a debate here.

With regards to your allegation that all of Coleman's Tory mates at the GLA are too dishonest to disclose their freebie's, as a public minded citizen, please provide me with details and I'll expose them.

If I go to charity dinners I like to pay my way, that is the point. I'd probably pay not to sit next to Coleman. In fact if I found out that he was freeloading at one, I'd send my ticket back. I guess that to set your mind at rest we should do a Coleman freeloading special blog, to have a detailed look at a few of his "free lunches". Then we can have a proper debate.

Many woolies staff are local mums who fit in part time shifts around childcare. Not that you'd give a monkey's about them, would you? I note the sly "he he" comments, I don't find the plight of people going on the dole funny. Shame on you for being so crass.

If believing in fair play, honesty, transparancy, paying my own way and fairness makes me a Socialist, then yup guilty as charged.

I think that from your Ivory Tower, you are the last person to start talking about reality. By the way, and sorry to be pedantic, but you keep using the phrase with all your various personas and it is rather irritating. You should say "biased" rather than "bias" in this context - have a word with your remedial English teacher.

Julie said...

Oooooh! Roger! Well! I know I'm getting at someone when they start to abuse me with such terrible words as 'remedial'. Tut! And I thought you were too cool for that.....Hehe! Apologies for irritating you, I would hate to think I have irritated someone as neutral and reasoned as your good self.

When did I say anyone was being dishonest? Hmm? Twisting things again, Oliver?! I shall untwist your interpretation.....hospitality, like anything, has a 'notional' value and I'm suggesting dinners etc only have to be registered if their value exceeds a certain amount (not sure what the amount is or whether there is in fact formal requirements for this). Some politicians choose to report everything no matter what the value (probably the best thing to do and judging by Coleman's entries at least he is being open about what he attends - come on Rog, credit to him there, what-what?), some will interpret certain hospitality as not meeting or exceeding the required notional value, some hospitality isn't worth reporting (e.g. just a glass of wine and a sandwich) and so on.....my point is it's quite subjective and therefore there will be differences between holders of the same office in what activity is registered....as simple as that I'm afraid, no dishonesty to expose! I suggested this may account for Coleman being on record for attending more dinners etc. Just another theory to throw in the pot for your 330,000 avid readers!.....

Regarding paying one's way at a charity dinner, even charities have to lobby/inform politicians and will have to pay for this like any other organisation. If they choose to do this through the format of a dinner or lunch (probably more effective than a letter - I have found this to be true in business) then that's up to them and those who attend should not have to pay - that's my view.

Aw, why wouldn't you want to sit next to Coleman? That's so antisocial. I know what you mean though, I didn't like sitting next to certain people at lunchtime at school. You have such strong opinions of him - I would have thought you would love to put them to him to his face.

And on what do you base your comment that I don't give a monkey's about part time working mums!? Of course I do. Actually, it's been my experience that part-time work is the easiest sort to find, and as it's low paid the income from it is very cheap to insure against unemployment etc. Swings and round abouts.

The 'he-he' comment was not sly but referring to the 'become a politician' suggestion I made, a poke of fun at your points regarding how much Coleman earns. Of course, you really know this but chose to twist it to have a dig - a sign of desperation in my view. Elsewhere in your blog you urge people to lighten up and have fun - it's a pity you lose this sense of humour when the humour is directed at your points of view - or is your ego as large as you suggest Freer's is?! Hehe!!

You don't know me Rog so claiming I'm in an Ivory Tower is rather fanciful and arrogant. I'm very much in-tune with reality.

Having just read through the above I'm starting to realise that as you feel it necessary to twist and misinterpret things to make a point you're just as bad as the characterisitcs you say you don't like in Freer, Coleman et al....

Rog T said...

"Julie",

Don't draw too many conclusions about the effects of your comments. I've got three rather annoying kids, so your efforts are pretty lame by comparison. As to having an ego bigger than Coleman's - I'm a guitarist in the worlds greatest rock and roll band, of course my ego's a million times bigger than his (or yours). I'm entitled to one, I write great tunes and pay my own way to boot.

I can understand charities lobbying Gordon Brown or David Cameron but Brian Coleman ??? Come on, even you can't really believe that (can you?). He's really a bit of a non-entity outside of Barnet, isn't he. Even here, he's seen by most Tories as a bit of an embarrassment. You contradict yourself. Either you think that the other GLA Tories are not disclosing or you don't. Which is it? Are you saying that all these companies and charities were buying favours from Coleman for the price of a free dinner? That is how your comment sounds? I have lobbied and informed Andrew Dismore on many occasions and it hasn't cost me a dinner or even the price of a cup of tea. Same with Alison Moore. I've even lobbied/informed a few Tories over the years personally and they've never asked payment, free dinner or a cup of tea. A former Tory cabinet member once bought me a glass of wine on a train back from Edinburgh in the course of a conversation, so I think you are talking complete nonsense. He certainly got informed on my views of rail privatisation and gave me his views in return.

The "He He" is exactly what I inferred - a sly dig using the medium of unfortunate people. Predictable and sad. No amount of self justification will change that. As for my 330,000 readers, they'll draw their own conclusions.

Why wouldn't I want to sit next to Coleman at a charity dinner? Well firstly, I know he despises football, he said so in his column. Secondly, I doubt that he knows more than the square root of nothing about Punk rock. Thirdly, I doubt we'd have much of a conversation about fancying Uma Thurman. Fourth, I doubt that he really knows very much about the history of British Politics or Socialism and so would not enjoy a lecture (yup my mega ego again) from an ill informed dolt. Fifth, I probably know more about Conservatism than he does, so he'd not really have very much to tell me about that either. Sixth, as far as I can tell he doesn't much about running a small business, so he wouldn't have much to say about that either. If you can think of any topic where we could have an interesting conversation, I'd love to know. I'm sure that of the many regrets Brian Coleman has in life, me not wanting to spend an evening in his company isn't one.

Then again I may be wrong (about all of the above) and he may be great company for all I know. He certainly gets asked to enough free dinners to indicate he has some sort of charm that I've failed to pick up on.

As for my sense of humour - tell me a few jokes if you want me to find you funny. Slagging off widowed single mums and people who've just been made unemployed is a poor substitute for funny.

As for the Oliver Twist jibe, as has been pointed out before (to another of your many persona's) - you clearly don't know much about Dickens or the Oliver Twist's character (the good little guy trying to survive in a punishing world), so it's back to the remedial English class for you my son !!!! Like many of your ill thought out insults, being likened to Oliver Twist is a compliment.

Brian Coleman aka Mr Toad has GOT to go said...

Julie - what nasty hogwash from you!

Coleman is a self-important freeloader and Rog T has him bang to rights.

Brian Coleman (aka Mr Toad) has got to go:

Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24061317432

MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/mr_toad_has_got_to_go

Julie said...

Rog, any man who thinks his kids are irritating needs to ask how they ended up that way! Hehe!

I laughed at the joke about your band and ego - very good! Pleased to see your humour has returned.

You say you're entitled to an ego - perhaps Coleman is too after having had 72,000 people vote for him?!

You can't understand anyone lobbying an assembly member!? Then you have very little knowledge of local government and the millions of pounds in grants they award charities and other organisations or the influence it has on local and national policy shaping. If councillors and AMs are non-entities why do these organisations invite them to dinners etc?! Oh, don't tell me, all the many, seperate organisations are misguided and you're not?! Weak and ill informed point, Rog. Ha!

If most local Tories see Coleman as an embarrassment why did they re-select him as their GLA candidate and then canvass and deliver leaflets for him?! Hmm? Why? Why?! Oh yes, because he embarrasses them and so they want him to be an AM and earning £85k?!! Yeah right. Weak point, Rog. He!

Yes, GLA members or MPs or Councillors (of all parties) may not be disclosing certain hospitalities because either they don't have to be disclosed or the members judge them to be worth too little (i.e. too insignificant) to disclose. Simple. Rules should be tighter perhaps? But at least Coleman declares - half of it he probably doesn't have to.

Of course they're not buying favours! They're trying to influence. And I doubt any politician you refer to has asked for invites, they arrive by the bucket full though the post and email and Coleman probably has a job selecting which ones to attend (I must admit the ones with the best spread probably win! HA!).

You choose to interpret the 'hehe' as that - that's your problem.

So you're telling me you devote thousands of words on your blog to Coleman but if you found yourself sat next to him you'd have nothing to talk about?!! Very strange!! Bit wierd, and a bit eery if you ask me. Perhaps you could raise what you've raised on this blog?! As an idea?! Duh!

Rog, I've never slagged off a widowed single mother or people made redundant so not sure where you're getting that from! Twisting things again!? I have made comments on the topics but certainly not comments slagging people off!

I have said if people make proper provisions they would avoid their families falling on hardship if they died. That's hardly slagging off widows now is it?! Emotive and wide off the mark accusations reinforce my view that you exhibit the very characteristics you criticise in your blog. None of my comments have been intended as insults, it says more about those who twist them to appear as such than me, sonny jim!!!

Which brings me nicely to twisting things. My reference to Twist relates purely to the word 'twist', not the context of the Oliver Twist story. Obviously.

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Julie

I hope the council are paying you overtime for all these comments. Hehe.

Julie said...

Like it Dave! Though I do not work for or represent the council perhaps they should start paying me - by the word! hehe!

Rog T said...

"Julie",

Typical, are you now suggesting my wife has made my kids annoying (couldn't possibly be my fault)? As anyone who has kids will tell you, they are quite capable of being annoying without any help.

So having added my wife to the list of people you insult, you then have the audacity to claim that the 72,000 votes cast for Coleman give him the right to swan round from soiree to soiree like Elton John or Bono? The people of Hartlepool elected Peter Mandleson, because he was the Labour candidate, not because they loved him. Sure he won the vote - given he was the incumbent and there was a big swing to the Tories nationally it was pretty inevitable, but if you think every single one (or even a majority)of the 72,000 thought "Oh Great Coleman is the candidate" you've been reading too many Peter Mandleson biographys.

The implication that charity's get cash from Barnet based on how nice a dinner they give Brian Coleman is truly appalling. Sadly it has the ring of truth. Given that "Future Shape" wants to dole out huge sums of money to charities and private companies, it is also rather sinister. As I said above, I've lobbied quite a few politicians and a free dinner has never been part of the deal.

As to your comments re widows and provisions. My ex, deceased business partner, who worked for the London Ambulance Service and London Transport before joining me was the victim of a hit and run accident two years before he joined up with me. During the 18 months where he was laid up he cancelled most of his policies through necessity. On receiving his payout, he bought into the business and being relatively young accepted that for 2 or 3 years things would be extremely tight. In 2000, just before the business started making a profit, following a huge investment, he developed Pancreatic Cancer and died leaving a widow and children. If it had happened 1 year later he'd have been set up. You talked earlier about reskilling. Barnet Council talks about taking risks being a good thing. Trouble is sometimes you take a risk and the unexpected happens. For you to criticise someone for trying to realise their potential is a bit rich. My friend was unable to work as an ambulance or Bus driver. He didn't want to live on benefits so his role as studio manager was ideal. As a result of his ethos, two of our nine staff were previously on long term incapacity benefits. Now they are wage earners. In your world, he'd have lived on benefits and most probably so would they.

Of course I'm sure you'll come back with a sarcastic comment that he should have done this or that, but then I guess you've never ever taken achance in life to make things better?

As to whether I'd find something to talk to Bwian about. I'd happily talk to him for hours explaining the errors of his ways. I'm quite sure though that neither of us would really enjoy dinner much though. I'd also feel rather sorry for the guests having to listen to us two. I see Bwian from time to time. I served him drinks at the last music festival, I had a polite chat with him at the Montrose festival (the day after I'd given him a good telling off on my blog), in a social setting I'm quite polite by nature, but we really don't have much in common and I think after a few sherbets it would be rather hard work.

So come on, tell me what do you think Coleman would most like to spend the evening chatting to me about?

Football, Girls, Beer, Punk rock or how crap Barnet council are?

By the way I totally agree that you should be paid by the word. I think that a rate of 1 Zimbabwe Dollar a word would be about right.

Don't Call Me Dave said...

Just figured out who Julie is. She is the lady who jilted John and ran off with Gordon the Moron. No wonder she supports Mike Freer’s Brownite policies.

Rog T said...

So we know who Julie is and it's pretty clear who Gordon the Moron is. What I'd like to know is who was John and why did she jilt him?